Saturday, June 7, 2008

Communication is key ... my pet peeve!

The more I'm around other couples the more I learn about communication as a key in any relationship! My husband and I met on the internet over 8 years ago! we did nothing but talk to each other for 9 months before we ever met in person! Needless to say communication is not a problem for us. I'm completely comfortable telling my husband exactly what I'm thinking just about all the time and vice versa! I can't count the number of times I have had friends confide in me their problems with their men and the whole time I'm thinking did you tell him what you are telling me now? I mean honestly if it drives you absolutely nuts that he can't seem to put a new garbage bag in the can after taking out the trash then just tell him! Or, if you really really want diamond earrings for your birthday and you get new pajamas or a vaccuum cleaner that means you are not being clear, it is not all his fault! It is my experience that women understand subtleness and hints, in general men do not! If you want to be happy then you have to spell it out in no uncertain terms what it is that you want. Instead of wasting your breath complaining to your best girlfriend that your beau just won't give you a night off from diaper duty, feedings, and bathtime try telling him! I love that movie with Mel Gibson "what women want"! Well you know what men really want, a woman that will just tell them what's going on instead of speaking in code all the time! I see it with my own mom, she'll be complaining and saying I can't believe your father just did that, or forgot this or whatever, and I'm just thinking to myself the whole time well did you tell him ....
I keep seeing these articles about sexless marriages and how couples aren't intimate after they have children and I promise you it's not the kids fault ... it's a lack of communication! If you are in the mood TELL THE POOR GUY! If you are not in the mood, TELL HIM, do not fake anything because you just make him feel unattractive and inadequate! It is perfectly normal that after a long day of running after kids and being pounced on that you do not feel like being pounced on again and all you really want is a back rub and your pillow! Now, you can't always just want a back rub and your pillow and you'll find that as you open yourselves up to more communication that you will want more intimacy more frequently! I believe just about anything and everything can be fixed by communication and education! Just by being open, honest and communicating with your man you will also be educating him on how to love you and be the kind of husband that you want and vice versa.

Disclaimer: You cannot be too open about your mother in law, and there is a difference between communicating and nagging!

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